I'll love you 4eva

It's 3.32am. Internet is off. I've just realised that I can compose my
blogs offline and update when I'm online! So be ready for random blogs
when I'm using mcdonalds or yates' free wfi!

I can't remember the last time I slept this late. And I'm gonna soooo
regret it when I wake up. And I can't even just wake up at 4pm like
I'd love to do cos it'll mess up my bodyclock. *sighs* being an adult
is tough.

Was talking to R about missing college (she bought it up, and we did
mean sixth form). First I thought she was a bit doolally but actually
I feel the same, I miss school and sixth form too (only on hindsight
though, I don't want to relive it or anything, fuck no!)

I miss the hanging around. And the cheap rat meat and chips (I heart
balti house!!!) and I miss the joys of massive drama. When you're that
age everything is so massive and all bad things feel like the end of
the world. College girls must keep Kleenex in business with all the
tears they shed - boys and bitch slaps and bad hair days boo hoo hoo!

Boys!!! I miss being a teenage girl cos I miss teenage boys!! I miss
having crushes and the joy it bought to my laugh if I caught a glimpse
of someone I liked (loved!)

I miss having friends that you think are your world and whose opinions
mean everything. Obviously I love my true friends at this age but I
wouldn't jump off a bridge for any of them if they told me to (I so
would have when I was 15 though LOL)

Back to boys...my 2nd crush (i usually say he's my 1st but someone did
beat him to the post but he was def my most massive crush ever) was
when I was 11 or 12, he was an older boy, a man in my eyes (15). Wow
that was hardcore (onesided) love. I still have my diary for that year
and the entry I made the first time I saw him (yes it was love at
first sight) makes me laugh so much. "HE IS SO BUFF!!!!!!!!!! And he
is 15!!!!!" bless my cotton socks it was 2 whole pages of how nice his
ears were and stuff like that (yup, his ears).

Incase you're wondering he did know my name! (good enough for me!!)
not sure if he knew I wanted to marry him. Omg how embarassing I use
to get my mum to walk me past his street and god bless my mum but she
use to take me most evenings!!! How lame am I?! But seeing his roof
bought a joy to my heart I haven't felt since.

And I have seen him quite a few times since (big crush, lasted for
about 5-6years, that's true love for ya!) and I act cool and grown up.

And lord anyone who knew me at that age probably knows who I'm talking
about. But I'm 25 which I think is old
Enough to step back and have a laugh.

Omg saying that, if he read this and knew it was him I'd squeak and
then pass out (I lent him 20p once and when he paid me back I kept it
in a little box for a few months and then my mother STOLE it and
replaced it with £1 cos she needed change. Bad day in our household!!!)

I think when I'm 30 I'll declare my undying love...I better google his
name and see if he's married or anything! Lol

Aw Penny you are such a loser!