Can someone take the knife out of my back please?

Hi everyone :)

Sorry for the extremely unimaginative blog title....a bit brain dead :s

Just gonna post a quick update Saturday-Today:

Erm, Saturday I went to my Saturday job (on time!!) and it was good. I felt a bit ill in the morning, the main problem being the pain my body was in (made worst by 8 hours of standing) but like I predicted, it was good for me to get back to work and getting back on my feet. The day didn't start off well: I woke up at 5:30am because my sleeping pattern is all dodgy; it was super sunny when i was getting dressed but freezing when i got to the bus stop, I was worried my toes would drop off and then despite leaving extra early i missed my bus (it didn't stop at my stop!!!!) and had to wait 13 mins (in the cold) for the next bus. But like I said i made it in on time and that's what matters.

Work was great, really really busy. My appetite was still blah so for lunch i had a bread roll (lame!) and spent most of my hour shopping for a fathers day present (also looked at shoes, handbags and make up for myself). I got my dad 2 shirts and 2 pair of jeans and i got myself a clutch bag....i'm not in love with it but in case i don't find anything better it will do.

Sunday I woke up at 5ish am again pottered around the flat and had breakfast then went back to sleep til 12pm, spoke to my mum, surfed the net and then back to bed (told you my sleep is effed) and then woke around 4pm and got showered and dressed for fathers day dinner.

Family came to pick me up and we went for cocktails and food in Canary Wharf. It was nice to just all be together again, it's been absolutely ages since we've all met up. Got home pretty late (for me), got to bed around 12-1am.

Monday didn't want to go to work. A bit tearful and shakey. Really need to pull myself together before I fall into a black hole I can't get out of. The actual day was fine, nothing exiciting, nothing scary.

Today was a much better day. A really long day but all positive and gung ho and the smile is back on my face. We had a meeting with people who came to visit us from another site and it was a very welcomed injection of energy and enthusiasm which i lost since last week.

I must grow up and i must be stronger. I will never let anyone wipe the smile off my face for a long period of time. Let it be known here that I will never mope for longer than a week unless I am physically injured. Sticks and stones and all that jazz right?