It's been a while. Apologies for my last outburst, I just needed to
let go of my negativity (wow I sound American), but in truth apart
from feeling sheepish towards you now it was really useful for me to
just purge my sad soul.
So now? Now I'm ok. I think it's been a looong week and I've been
hibernating from life but now I need to pull myself together and just
get on with it. Life.
Tomorrow will be good, got a really busy day. I have 3 interviews to
do that I've set up and then possibly an extra 2 if anyone else
scheduled some during the week; if there's 3 I'll have time to do
other stuff but if it's 5 I'll be in the office pretty much all day.
I did actually write a long blog the day after my lil breakdown but it
just got wiped off without autosaving, I was gutted actually and have
no idea what I was talking about...but then again I never do! ;)
I guess this will just be a quick update of my week...
Tuesday was spent in a different building doing observations for the
same project as last time. Day starteded off really bad. Security
wouldn't let me through and blah blah blah and then I had to spend
time with such patronising people and it is soul destroying and it
wears me down. And I don't think it's just about me being over
sensitive. I think I get worn out because I'm trying to supress my
anger at their rudeness and ignorance, and also I'm trying not to hit
anyone and self control is tough work (ok ok not really but I'm
argh!!). Saying that, people often think I'm weak or see my niceness
as a weakness but in fact it takes much more strength to hold back and
smile at someone u wanna punch...ok ok I'm a pussy!!
Erm, well Wednesday I had my lil boo hoo blog. That was a good day in
general though, was happy to be back in my office.
Thursday was really good. Had the funniest day and laughed loads. Even
though I might get a bit stressy I love my job and I know I'm blessed
to do what I love/love what I do and to also love the people I work
with. My managers are amazing; the rare combination of great boss and
great person (though I've struck gold cos L is also one of those rare
beings), and I've got good real friends at work.
When i was younger my dad use to say that having friends wasn't the be
all or end all of life (or having a lack of friends!) and that you are
your own person blah blah blah but realistically for me, I don't
socialise, so friends at work are really important because they are
the only regular human beings in my life. I'm raring to go back to
work on Mondays because I've usually spent Sunday in complete silence,
no friends, no music, no tv (but I love it though!). if I had to
choose to be alone or with others I'd always choose to be by myself
but a mixture of the two in small doses is just right for me.
Friday...had a morning training session. Was the best ive ever done!
It was great and im really happy with myself, I'm slowly improving,
and I've mastered breathing and talking at te same time yay me!! Of
course major props to the attendees, fantastic questions and they
stayed awake for it all lol
ive been trying to watch something, anything online but couldn't find
anything until I stumbled across 'stylista' a 2008 creation from tyra
banks (only 1 season commisioned). 11 contestants battle it out to
become junior editor of elle for 1 yr. I'll do a review of that soon
methinks.
Well I guess it's bedtime now, don't want to be late for my Saturday
job do I!
Sweetdreams xxx
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